Some time back, I attended a friend’s milestone birthday party where many of her friends, including myself, spoke about her.
Basically what they talked about was what she meant to them- some went down nostalgia lane remembering incidents where they had done things together and so on.
Then of course, there were her children and grandchildren who made it more meaningful by sharing some snippets about her, along with many aspects of her personality that many people at that lunch may not have known at all.
After all these had been said, she herself took centre stage and conveyed her own thoughts . What she said was something I will always remember. The essence of it was simply,
“I’m so grateful to all of you for being here today. I’m even more grateful to have been able to hear all that you feel about me. Most people are not half as lucky because all these things are only spoken about when they are no more- at their ‘Memorial ‘
Which simply means that they would never have had the opportunity of hearing what was said by people who had gathered there to say their goodbyes.”
That set me thinking.
And I couldn’t help but remember my father’s Memorial where so many, many, people shared so many wonderful stories and insights about him. I also thought about all the memorial meetings that I have attended and spoke at, in the last couple of years, and about people who are no more.
Wouldn’t they also have just loved to hear what was said about them?
And so I concluded- it is so much more important to share one’s thoughts about how we feel about friends, relatives and those who matter, while they are still around.
Tell them what and how much they mean to you.
Tell them what you enjoyed doing together, how much a particular gesture or that lovely dish they made or sent across to you meant to you.
That way you will never regret what you never said. Words and thoughts that should have been spoken but never were..
Do it regularly.
Do it today.
Sunaina Serna Ahluwalia is an author, independent communications consultant, travel and food writer, with a passion for photography and baking.
A graduate of History Hons from St Stephen’s College, Delhi University, Sunaina went on to do a Master’s in Advertising and Public Relations from the Indian Institute of Mass Communications New Delhi.
Starting her career with Clarion Advertising New Delhi, she then moved to Muscat, Oman where she lived for 25 years with her family.
Numerous challenging assignments followed- Product Group Manager, Genetco, Account Director, Fortune Promoseven and Advertising and Public Relations Manager, The National Detergent Company.
Sunaina has written three works of fiction
A Safe Harbour
Point of No Return
An Autumn Melody
and is currently working on two more.
