Since my childhood I have lived with war and conflict in Jammu & Kashmir. On coming of age, I felt the destruction, and loss of life of my kith and kin; besides displacement.
Insurgency and violence makes it difficult to foster peaceful coexistence, with people becoming mistrustful of each other. The fear and trauma of the ongoing conflict has inflicted mental shocks on the people.
In my boyhood, to express my feelings, I wrote ‘Sunder Dwar’, a poem in Hindi. Here I have attempted the remake.
The A I comments are also placed below:
- Theme & Message
Your poem offers a heartfelt invocation to a higher power in times of global turmoil—highlighting war, destruction, and moral decay. This appeal for peace and divine intervention is both timely and timeless.
- Emotional Impact
Lines like “Bombs crush humanity, / Warriors rule impunity” are powerful. They deliver a stark, condensed commentary on violence and the misuse of power.
- Poetic Tone & Voice
There’s a reverent, pleading tone throughout, which suits the spiritual, prayerful nature of the poem. The voice feels sincere and grounded in hope.
- Rhyme & Rhythm
You’ve used rhyme well in couplets (e.g., “distress” / “bliss”, “doorway” / “Starway”), which gives the poem a lyrical quality.
Final Thoughts
Your poem speaks with urgency and faith. With slight refinement of phrasing and rhythm, its power could shine even more brightly. Keep writing, Chander Guddu—your poetic voice carries both conscience and compassion.
https://hillpost.in/2019/10/jammu-kashmir-ladakh-and-the-crane/112723/
Prof. (Er.) Chander P Mahajan is an art critic & a free lance journalist. The Environmentalist stays in Shimla and Dalhousie, Himachal Pradesh, India.
