On the 10th of August Mohammad Matibool was returning home from his night shift job in West Delhi when he was knocked down from behind by a tempo driver who, naturally, fled. Matibool lay on the road for about two hours, slowly bleeding to death. It is estimated that more than a hundred people passed by him but no one offered any assistance or called the police. By the time the latter arrived Matibool had taken his last breath. The police took another two hours to sort out their jurisdictional issue; Matibool’s body kept lying on the road. Delhi, of course, the great metropolis it is, did not bat an eye-lid but went about its daily business of crushing the human soul. The same avoidable tragedy plays out thousands of times on our roads every year and should make us ask some soul searching questions.
Mr. Amit Shah, the BJP President, when he announced victory in both Bihar and Delhi before the elections but failed at the pre-qualification stage itself. A close contender for the Silver has to be Mrs. Sushma Swaraj who announced that our admission to the Nuclear Supplier’s Group (NSG) was a “done deal” just before the said NSG socked us in the jaw!
No doubt about this one- Ms. Shobhaa De and her ridiculous statement about our Olympians. A BJP MP from UP gave her a scare for some moments by calling Mayawati a P******** but was disqualified when he tested positive for stimulants, which actually turned out be venom. A close contender for the bronze is another tweeter- Shivraj Chauhan, Chief Minister of MP, who tweeted a photo of himself being carried by some cops during a flood inspection tour, so he would not get his shoes wet! This attracted so much ire on social media that he clarified that he was not even aware when he was picked up by his staff ! A serial offender, surely.
The favorites are the Karnataka Chief Minister and Home Minister. They first stated that Amnesty (of sedition fame) had not broken any laws, but the very next day clarified that ” we are not giving Amnesty a clean chit.” Mehbooba Mufti the J+K Chief Minister could however cause an upset : she used to visit stone pelters in their houses when in the Opposition, but now refuses to even visit those of the dead or dying. or to express any sympathy for them.
The Games record is held by Arnab Goswami and he is likely to retain it this time too. He never lets the facts deter him from arriving at conclusions he has pre-determined, the true mark of a sportsman- like when he hinted at Sashi Tharoor’s active involvement in his wife’s murder without any evidence, or when he pronounced Kanhaiya a seditionist and traitor long before the best legal minds in the country had NOT done so. His side-kick, Maroof Raza, also has potential but he is not versatile enough as he limits himself to Pakistani rivals only.
A version of the Decathelon, it is the most difficult of all sports as it involves expertise in three separate activities: stealing cows, beating up the owner, and extorting money for their return. Although a recent introduction to the Games, it is gaining popularity fast, especially in BJP ruled states. The players are called Gau Rakshaks.
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Part of the equestrian events, requiring the rider to stay on the horse for as long as possible. The nation is rooting for none other than the Prime Minister, Mr. Modi, who hasn’t dismounted ever since he took office in 2014- an Olympic and World record. It was felt that the Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu, Ms. Jayaylalitha, would give him a stiff challenge but she has started trailing ever since the Supreme Court gave her a dressing down in the matter of filing 213 defamation cases against anyone who considered her mortal.
Not to be confused with hockey, this is a sport at which our Parliamentarians are par excellence, though all government servants are pretty good at it too. Playing hookey involves collecting your salary/ allowance and then absenting yourself- from Parliament. office, school, hospital etc. etc. Every ten years the players are rewarded by a Pay Commission; naturally, therefore, it has become our national sport.
Squash, badminton or tennis are imported games and cannot possibly compare with our own racket games- ponzi and chit funds, real estate, kidnapping, defaulting on loans, extortion, cornering lucrative govt. contracts, fixing elections, and so on. Only the powerful and the privileged can take part- the audience can get so involved that they are usually in tears ( and penury) by the time the game ends.
A sport at which the government excels. The target is composed of concentric circles of journalists, NGOs, reformists, rational thinkers, critics, students- in short, anyone who does not agree with the govt. It is an easy sport to play because the size of the target keeps increasing every year as more and more groups are added. This is not a medal sport but an exhibition game since the idea is to send a message to the messengers. The judges are from an organisation called the RSS.
| The author retired from the IAS in December 2010. A keen environmentalist and trekker he has published a book on high altitude trekking in the Himachal Himalayas: THE TRAILS LESS TRAVELLED.
His second book- SPECTRE OF CHOOR DHAR is a collection of short stories based in Himachal and was published in July 2019. His third book was released in August 2020: POLYTICKS, DEMOCKRAZY AND MUMBO JUMBO is a compilation of satirical and humorous articles on the state of our nation. His fourth book was published on 6th July 2021. Titled INDIA: THE WASTED YEARS , the book is a chronicle of missed opportunities in the last nine years. Shukla’s fifth book – THE DEPUTY COMMISSIONER’S DOG AND OTHER COLLEAGUES- was released on 12th September 2023. It portrays the lighter side of life in the IAS and in Himachal. He writes for various publications and websites on the environment, governance and social issues. He divides his time between Delhi and his cottage in a small village above Shimla. He blogs at http://avayshukla.blogspot.in/ |
