The Lizards of Beijing

Being the master of deception, China has been fooling the world projecting itself as The Dragon for decades. But now it is becoming clearer that this dragon is not the type of fire-breathing traditional one that is seen in pictures but a species of the Komodo Dragon – a big Lizard that may have escaped from Indonesia at some point of history (or vice versa) with its lair deep in the heart of a dense Chinese forest that only topmost officials of China’s Communist Party (CPC) are permitted to visit for paying obeisance. The Komodo Dragon’s original traits of moving at speeds of 20 km/h when hunting and ambushing preys became the Chinese strategy of ambiguity, surprise and deceit while extracts from its venomous glands would have contributed towards developing the Wuhan Virus.

China’s name-game is equally deceptive. Fables have been created about China’s Wolf Warrior diplomacy being executed under directions of President Xi Jinping but the Chinese Foreign Minister Wang Yi is dubbed a Fox – silver one at that with a nose hardly resembling that of a fox. Chinese forests with over 2800 tree species and multitudes of other plants are also home to numerous rare and threatened animals like the giant panda, golden monkey, snow leopard, and crested ibis. But the ancient Komodo dragon has mysteriously vanished. This is because of CPC’s top secret genealogical project immediately after the 1949 Chinese Revolution to mingle genes of the Komodo dragon with humans in order to create a special race.

None in the world even got a whiff of the above genetic engineering marvel and its success. The result combined the appearance and movement traits of the lizard while the human part accentuated qualities of Mao’s revolutionary leaders including qualities of pathological liars suffering from mythomania pseudologia fantastica. Looking closely at officials of the CPC and China’s diplomatic corps, their lizard-like chirps, clicks and squeaks with Gaeko-style head movements are very noticeable. Specimens can be seen in Chinese embassies world over included in India headed by Sun Weidong who is being referred by some as the Lizard of Beijing. This species are forerunners to aliens arriving from outer space albeit latter may be more humane. A photo showing China’s ambassador Tang Songgen walking on people’s backs in Kiribati after getting off a plane went viral recently. Beijing says it was a welcome but Songgen had no compunction going over like a lizard rather than saying this is neither human nor humane.

Of late Lizards of Beijing have begun to vitiate the ecosystem of the world. Part of the brain being that of lizard they cannot correlate what they chirp and squeak with ground realities. Sun Weidong dismisses the Galwan clash an “unfortunate incident”, avoids the Chinese aggression in Eastern Ladakh with multiple intrusions in Pangong Tso, Gogra/Hot Springs and Depsang but talks of maintaining peace and tranquility. This Gaeko says, “China has been India’s largest trading partner for many years in a row, while India is also China’s largest trading partner in South Asia. The Chinese and Indian economies are interwoven and interdependent. I think the two big economies of China and India should attract each other like magnets, rather than forcefully separate them.” The message is very clear – forget your territory and allow our businesses to spy on you. Entities like CNBC should desist from giving them a platform to speak.

Similarly, Chinese diplomats in the US, Australia and some other countries are revealing similar qualities. The shamelessness is that of the lizard as well – squash their tail and they will still continue. Interestingly, there is competition among them to get the top ranking; probably habitual having been spawned in a wet market-like pit and crawling over each other. The latest top spot was taken by Hua Chunying, China’s foreign ministry spokeswoman who on September 1, 2020 by saying, “Seventy-odd years since the founding of new China, China never provoked any war or conflict and never occupied an inch of other country’s territory. China border troops always strictly abide by the LAC and never crossed the line.” Xi Jinping will possibly crown Chunying ‘Dame Lizard’ shortly.

As this article goes to the media, India has pre-empted Chinese attempt to intrude into southern bank of Pangong Tso Lake and Indian troops have occupied heights overlooking a PLA camp which has set tails of the Lizards including that of Dame Lizard afire. This being the mating season of Komodo dragons, intelligence services need to be extra careful with lizards also skill-trained in honey-trapping. Nations actually need to prune the brood of lizards in Chinese embassy in their country, stomp on the tail of the head lizard and send them packing back.

Prakash Katoch is third generation army officer hailing from Himachal Pradesh. He is former Lieutenant General from Special Forces and post-retirement has published over 2100 articles on international affairs, geopolitics, military, security, technical and topical issues besides authoring two books. He is active in seminars at both national and international levels.

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