Rahul Gandhi got up one morning and decided he was fed up with being party President in waiting. So he went to his mother Mrs Sonia Gandhi to sort out the issue.
Rahul: Mama when will you make me President of the party?
Sonia: Be patient son, your time will come. Why are you in such a hurry?
Rahul: It has nothing to do with hurry Mama. Many people from opposition make fun of me and say I will always keep on waiting and never become President of the party.
Sonia: I know but you should not pay any attention to them.
Rahul: Some also say that may be you will make Priyanka the President and not me.
Sonia: That is not true son; you must not listen to the opposition. They just want to create problems in our family.
Rahul: But sometimes even our own party men want Priyanka to be the President and that scares me Mama.
Sonia: Don’t worry I will speak to them and tell them not to say that in front of you.
Rahul: But Mama, will that not make Robert angry? I wish that old actor Ajit was alive; we could have hired him. In all his movies he controlled his Robert so well.
Sonia: Oh Rahul, just forget all this I will make you party President soon.
Rahul: Thank you Mama, you know I really I want to become party President.
Sonia: Enough now go and do your home work; you have a long day tomorrow with Gujarat elections looming ahead.
Rahul: That is the point Mama, I can neither concentrate on my work nor on what I say; all I think of is becoming Congress President. I am so confused these days; you know I thought Lok Sabha had 546 elected members. I even thought that Steve Jobs was running Microsoft.
Sonia: Don’t worry son we all make mistakes.
Rahul: Mama once I am President then I will not have to go to Gujarat, I can always send someone else.
Sonia: Why don’t you want to go there?
Rahul: Mama Mr Modi is also there every second day and then there is Mr Amit Shah. You know both of them are so powerful and I get so scared that last time I…..
Sonia: Stop it; I know what happened. The dhobi (washer man) told me. But son why are you scared, after all you are a Gandhi.
Rahul: Mama they know so much about Gujarat and I know nothing. They can speak in local language and I never know what they say but they know everything that I say in Hindi or English. Also they say I am not really a Gandhi. They say in my real name ‘H’ comes after G instead of ‘D’ and in the end it is ‘Y’ and not ‘I’.
Sonia: Stop! How many times I have told you not to speak about that name Ghandy. You are a Gandhi and that’s it.
Rahul: Sorry mama. But there is one more reason also.
Sonia: (exasperated) what is that?
Rahul: In Gujarat there is a Hardik. I don’t like him.
Sonia: Why?
Rahul: When I told him that he plays cricket so well he just laughed at me.
Sonia: Oh Rahul we are talking to Hardik Patel and not Hardik Pandya- the cricketer.
Rahul: Still I don’t like him because he is so young, speaks so powerfully and people listen to him seriously. When I speak many people just keep laughing and chuckling as if I am a j—-
Sonia: (murmurs to herself: and they are so right) He is Hardik Patel who started Patidar Andolan and an emerging leader. You must do your homework and concentrate on your job.
Rahul: But Mama I cannot negotiate with Hardik Patel as he says if I do not listen to him he will make Congress pay. See now we cannot pay him with all those old Rs 1,000 and Rs 500 notes that we have – I am sure he will not take those. And we really do not have many new notes.
Sonia: Rahul, how many times I have old you not to talk about old notes – you know it hurts me so much.
Rahul: But Mama why are you still keeping so many old notes with you?
Sonia: Oh that is because if we ever come back to power we can always exchange them, I have worked so hard to collect them.
Rahul: You know in Gujarat they also threw stones at my car and broke a glass. So I don’t like that place.
Sonia: Oh Rahul those stones were thrown by our…. Forget it. They were not BJP workers so don’t worry.
Rahul: But Mama….
Sonia: Come on beta, you must listen to your mother. Be a good boy and go to Gujarat and make Congress win in the state.
Rahul: But Mama so far Congress has only lost where ever I went. You know we won in Punjab because I hardly went there.
Sonia: (Finally) If you don’t go to Gujarat then I will not make you the party President.
Rahul: That is not fair Mama; OK I will go but first promise me that you will make me Party President soon.
Sonia: OK I will.
Rahul: When Mama?
Sonia: OK I will do it in December.
Rahul: Thank you – (Hugging her) you are the best Mama I have.
Sonia: What??? (Muttering under her breath- Thank God, I have just said December and even I do not know which December it will be. But as long as he is happy …… all is fair in love and politics).
Meanwhile Rahul is going down the stairs and repeating January, February, March…… November, December on his finger tips. Every time he comes to December he jumps ahead to January. So he is still trying to reach his December!!
Saroj Chadha, an engineering professional, is a successful entrepreneur. Having retired from the Indian Army after having served for over 23 years, he has also been a consultant for leading Indian and Multinational electrical companies. He lives in New Delhi.
