Why did the chicken cross the road?

Narendra Modi

 Bhaiyon aur behnon, that is not a chicken, that is Nitish Kumar and he’s going across to join the jungle raj on the other side of the road.

Nitish Kumar

I will cross many roads and Lakshman Rekhas to ensure the defeat of communal forces and the victory of casteist forces.

Sakshi Maharaj

Rejoice, my Hindu brothers and ramzades: the chicken is returning home after four hundred years of foreign oppression- this is its ghar wapasi.

Abhishek Singhvi

No matter where they go now, the chickens will come home to roost for the BJP.

Rahul Gandhi

Arrey bhai dekho, that is not a road which the chicken is crossing but the poverty line. During our rule not one but 140 million chickens crossed this line, all with the velocity of Jupiter. And now, only one is crossing during Modi’s rule- and look, even that bechara is being assaulted by that Delhi traffic cop……!

B.S.Bassi [ Police commissioner, Delhi]

We have inside information that that chicken is actually Somnath Bharti in disguise. We have sent out 18 teams to arrest him, a force stronger even than the one assembled after the Parliament bomb attack, for Aam Aadmi Party is more dangerous than any Pakistani terrorist group. We will now subject that chicken to a narco test, a DNA test and brain mapping to find out how it gave orders to a Labrador dog, against the course of nature!

Arvind Kejriwal

This is a conspiracy between the Lieutenant Governor and Modi. How can a chicken cross that road without the approval of the elected govt. of Delhi? Poultry is a state subject.

Robert Vadra

Are you serious? Are you serious? Is this an IQ test or a biology test or what? Get outta my face!

Sushma Swaraj

That poor murgi has a valid visa for crossing the road to meet its ailing companion on the other side. It is an act of humanity and compassion and there is no  pro involved- I’m not sure about the quid.

Udhav Thackerey

That chicken is either a non-state actor or a cricketer from Pakistan. We will not allow it to cross the road as long as our- sorry, their- blood flows on the LOC. Blacken its face with ink !

Sanjay Raut [spokesman for Shiv Sena]

Sorry, sar, we have run out of ink- both Sudheendra Kulkarni and Engineer Rashid had bigger heads than we had imagined. Should we use cow urine? Or we can just fry the chicken-after the Navratras, of course. We have not yet banned consumption of chicken.

Nayantara Sehgal

That chicken, I am sure, is going to return its Sahitya Academy award- it is standing up for freedom of thought and expression. Its now a question of eat or be eaten.

Arnab Goswami

Don’t ever, never, ever ask me a question on MY programme! Here, only I ask the questions even if I and Maroof Raza don’t have a clue about the answers! The REAL question- the question TIMES NOW and the nation is asking of the government- is not why the chicken crossed the road but what kind  of chicken is it? Is it BJP, Congress, Mulayam, Hard(ik), Tanduri, Butter, Manchurian ? The nation wants to know, Mr. Sambit Patra.

Sambit Patra [ BJP Spokesman]

Under the leadership of our one and only Prime Minister Mr. Narinder Modi, it doesn’t matter. All chickens are equal , for our slogan is SABKA HATH, SABKA SATH, KAHAN GAYA VIKAS ? Under BJP rule chickens can wander over any road ( except 7, Race Course Road,  which we are proposing to rename Off Course Road) and be perfectly safe. After all, Mr. Modi’s second slogan is ” Na khaoonga, na khane doonga.” I’m so glad I eat only fish.

Arun Jaitley

That chicken is running away from the tyranny of the unelected to the tyranny of the elected on the other side. It will end up as a subsidised item in the Parliament canteen which is supreme ( the canteen, not Parliament).

The Chief Justice

We don’t really care, so long as it doesn’t effect the independence of the judiciary or make us accountable.

Salman Khan

Boss, I think I’ve just run over that chicken. Call Mahesh Jethmalani immediately.

The final word, of course, is with

Confucius

Chicken which walk in middle of road end up in soup.

Avay Shukla retired from the Indian Administrative Service in December 2010. He is a keen environmentalist and loves the mountains. He divides his time between Delhi and his cottage in a small village above Shimla. He used to play golf at one time but has now run out of balls. He blogs at http://avayshukla.blogspot.in/

1 Comment

  • Dear Avay, good one indeed and good to know you have this humorous side too. Just thought we should add one more from a senior bureaucrat:

    Is the chicken crossing the road, not sure since it may just stand there or even come back or may be cause an accident intentionally. We should constitute a committee to go into it to establish the correct identity of the chicken, its owner and its motive of being seen in the middle of the road. It may also find out if the chicken had any permission or licence to be on the road in the first place. The committee headed by a senior retired bureaucrat can submit its report in next six months.

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